dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
