Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
