I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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