Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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