Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
