I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
