Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
