just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
