I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
