Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
