my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
