The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
