look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
send nudes
from the living room?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
