This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
