I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
