I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
that is very illegal...i love you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
