I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
