I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize