I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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