that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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