Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
