Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
