It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
