He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
