yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
