I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you made out with another girl for some wings
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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