I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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