turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
