Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Boobs are out for the taking
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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