Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
