I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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