NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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