Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
