Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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