i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
