i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
porn star boner night. come get it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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