its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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