Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize