She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
