U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
