In the future we'll all be gay
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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