please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
