I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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