so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
