you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
