There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Two words: blizzard sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
