you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
