her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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