I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize