"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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