That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
this hospital has no fireball
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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