No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
