no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
