brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize