just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
