The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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