like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
