Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
