Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
In America we eat man semen.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
