ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
