My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
