I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize