please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
