Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
