hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
