"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
