this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
